In America, high school is hell. The movie The Breakfast Club (1985) used sharply-delineated characters to illustrate the social  divisions that exist in many/most schools: the jock, the prom princess,  the stoner, the brain, the geek. It’s a caste system, where positions  are won by looks, money, or athletic ability, and the hierarchy is  maintained by ostracism, teasing, and violence.
Columbine focused attention on the extreme results: the  outcast loners who exacted bloody revenge. Steps have been taken to  prevent recurrence; weapons searches have been instituted (in many  schools, simply increased), conflict-resolution courses and post-trauma  counseling are offered. Yet bad stuff continues to happen, some of it  perpetrated by the top dogs on the underdogs, some of it by underdogs  using weapons to shift the balance of power. The underlying problem has  not changed: there are still top dogs and underdogs.
One solution being tried is separation: if you can’t survive in a normal high school, go somewhere else. The Harvey Milk School in New York city was created for gay students who were mercilessly bullied in other schools.
The New York Times (“School Away From School,” Dec 7,  2003) now reports on virtual high schools, where kids can do high school  coursework at long distance, with testing, grading, and teacher support  provided online. Some of the virtual school students interviewed had  suffered in the high school social system, others feared what they  themselves might become under social pressure. Some are simply too  smart, and several grades ahead of their age group (a proven recipe for  social disaster), others suffer various degrees of distraction/ADD, and  find they can concentrate better at home.
Homeschooling (where the parents do the teaching  themselves) is also common in the US. For some families, this is a  religious choice; for some, it’s about quality (or special needs); for  many, it’s probably both.
You have to wonder what the kids are missing in all of  these non-standard school experiences. A fair amount of misery, to be  sure. But what happens after high school, when they suddenly have to  deal with all sorts of people? (Yes, I know that many homeschooling  parents go to great effort to ensure that homeschooling does not cut  their kids off from the usual kid experiences and contacts; I also know  some whose main reason for homeschooling is to keep the kids away from  “bad influences.”)
There’s got to be a better way for adolescents to get an  education. I don’t have definitive answers, but I’ve been thinking hard  about examples I’m familiar with from other parts of the world.
At Woodstock,  tolerance was and is the norm, and violence is rare. In my four years  of high school, I only heard about one incident in which a guy even  tried to hit somebody. (He missed, and smashed his hand into the wall.)  Severe bullying and teasing were fairly uncommon in my day, and as far  as I know still are.
There are plenty of differences among Woodstock students –  nationality, race, religion, wealth, background, you name it. But  there’s no caste system. There are jocks, brains, prom queens,  and stoners – and they’re often the same people. Maybe this is because  the school is so small that we all had to fill multiple roles. My  roommate was a basketball player and a cheerleader, played in  band and orchestra, and worked on the yearbook. I was a journalist and  public works artist, worked on the yearbook, wrote a student handbook (my first manual/user guide), and was president of the dorm. Another classmate was  student body president, on several sports teams, and was a yearbook  photographer. Of course we all had plenty of schoolwork to do as well.  Maybe we just didn’t have time for the rubbish that goes on in American  schools.
The rigid social divisions of American high schools don’t  seem to exist in Italy, either. Ross tells me that there are some  cooler kids, though in her current class she can’t tell me who they are  or what makes them cool. Her middle-school class had an alpha male,  so-considered partly because of his trendy clothing. Her current class  has some kids who don’t interact much; she is studying the problem,  trying to figure out how to involve them more in the social life of the  class. In any case, they don’t seem to be particularly bullied or  teased.
Maybe the American emphasis on competitive sports is part  of the problem. Italian schools don’t do sports in the same way. They  have physical education classes, and Ross’ current high school has  after-school basketball, but it doesn’t seem to be a big deal. Lecco is  an athletic town, and many kids do competitive sports, but elsewhere,  either as individuals or with teams that are not related to the schools.  So athletic ability is not particularly noticed in school.
Woodstock has plenty of sports, but, in my day, being an  athlete didn’t carry more cachet than any other accomplishment. I don’t  recall anybody swooning over a guy because he was captain of this or  that team. Good sportsmanship was considered more important than winning  (though winning was also fun).
Perhaps Woodstock and Italian schools have less strife  for very different reasons. In Woodstock’s case, it’s partly due to the  extreme variety among the students: there are so many differences that  no single group can easily rule the roost.
What works in Italy may be homogeneity: everyone in a  given school is very similar to everyone else in background and  experience, and any differences are smoothed down, de-emphasized. There  are no accelerated classes for extra-smart kids, and those with  disabilities (physical or learning) are, as far as possible,  mainstreamed into regular classes, with extra teaching support provided  right there. This also applies to recent immigrants, who generally  attend regular schools and lessons, with some extra help for Italian  language.
So what goes wrong in American schools? I’m groping here,  but maybe the problem is an intolerant heterogeneity. America is still a  melting pot, but American culture demands that people fit in, and take  on the same values as some fictive majority. Kids are especially  conservative, and not inherently politically correct, so this is played  out more overtly in school than later in life. Now there’s a scary  thought: is American high school simply a microcosm of what’s going on,  clandestinely, in American culture at large?
Note (Oct 7, 2010): Sadly, there have been cases of bullying at Woodstock in more recent years. And it’s all gotten much worse in the US.