Tag Archives: social media

Young Lives Online

A recent New York Times article discussed how some American companies, before employing young people just out of college, are looking at how they present themselves in online communities such as MySpace and Facebook.

Not surprisingly, many kids in high school and college use these “protected” online spaces to try on personas, indulging in the posturing common to adolescents, such as claiming attitudes and behaviors that they rarely, if ever, actually indulge in. This is no different from teen posturing in real life, except that, instead of being performed for an audience of their peers, it’s available for all the world to see.

” ‘The term [companies have] used over and over is red flags… Is there something about [a potential employee’s] lifestyle that we might find questionable or that we might find goes against the core values of our corporation?’ ”

It seems to me that any company which decides NOT to hire a person on the basis of their MySpace profile falls into three errors:

  1. Assuming that what’s presented there is real.
  2. Assuming that, even if true, high school or college behavior reflects how someone will behave in adult working life. Many working adults smoke dope or drink on weekends, without letting it affect their working lives. A sign of adulthood is in fact the ability to behave appropriately in each of the different spheres of your life.
  3. Rampaging hypocrisy. Could all of these puritanically-minded recruiters truthfully say that they did not behave like adolescents during their adolescence? Could they say the same for every current employee of their organization?

A few of the companies contacted for the NYT article said that they do not conduct such investigations of potential employees, some explicitly stating that they felt such material to be irrelevant (good for them!). Nonetheless, I suspect that the phenomenon is more likely to grow than shrink, given America’s Puritanical bent.

That being the case, how should young people behave online?

The key is to realize that the Internet is a hyper-public piazza, in which you should assume that everything you say, no matter when or to whom, is being recorded – and may someday be held against you. We’ve all made the mistake of accidentally copying an email to the very person denigrated in it. There have been well-aired cases of regrettable emails being publicized, to the humiliation and sometimes material damage of the originator. Even Microsoft has been hoist with its own petard by internal emails which became public knowledge thanks to subpoenas or leaks.

The only way to be absolutely safe is never to say anything online that you might someday regret, or that you might not wish some third party to hear. An oft-cited rule of thumb is: “Don’t put anything out there that you wouldn’t want your grandmother to see.”

Which is, of course, extreme and unreasonable – we all have sides to ourselves that we don’t share with our grandmothers. Perhaps a better rule of thumb is: “Don’t put anything out there that you wouldn’t want your parents to see.” And then for the parents to actually go and look.

A newly-published study on teens’ use of MySpace and their parents’ perception thereof is enlightening. It shows that, while parents profess to be concerned about what their teens may be doing or experiencing on MySpace (their fears heightened by media hysteria), “38% have not seen their teen’s MySpace page and 40% never look at their teen’s MySpace pictures.”

Furthermore, “Less than half the parents say they have limits on both computer use
(46%) and MySpace use (32%) but kids say that those limits are not followed.” And: “One-third of the parents are not sure about whether their teen is giving out personal information; even when they think they know, they underestimate how often their teenagers give out their name, school name, phone number, e-mail/IM, and social information. For example, 34% of parents were not sure if their teen had given out the name of their school and 43% were sure that they had done so, while 74% of the teens stated that they had provided their school name.”

In other words, parents claim to be setting limits on how their kids use MySpace, but are not actually checking to see how they are using it. Which is very easy to do: most MySpace pages are open to the public, and it would be a very duplicitous child indeed who actually set up two MySpace profiles – one for parental consumption and one for friends.

My own daughter has a MySpace account, but uses it only occasionally to stay in touch with her American friends. Ross is far more active on Fotolog, and my readers already know that I keep close tabs on her there – not because I don’t trust her, but because it’s entertaining. I also have both a professional and personal interest in understanding how online social networking works and how people use it; Ross’ Fotolog is a handy case study that’s easy for me to follow because I actually know some of the people and their back stories.

Ross knows that I see almost immediately whatever she posts (one of Fotolog’s features is email alerts whenever a friend adds something to their Fotolog). Does this affect how she behaves there? She says: “No, but you and I have a weird relationship.” (She did once change a post on my advice; I thought it a bit harsh on one of her friends and that she might soon regret having said it.)

But I have talked to Ross a great deal about online reputation management, and the wisdom I’ve passed on (based on my own online experience as well as reading) does seem to inform her online behavior. She’ll do fine in the working world. (Unless she applies for a job at the Temperance Society…)

KidSpace: Public Places Where Kids Can Be Kids

If I believe what I read in the media (and some bloggers), American parents are getting hysterical about MySpace. For those not in the know (if you’re over 25 but don’t have a teenage child, that likely includes you), MySpace is an online community with tens of millions of members, most of them adolescents and (very) young adults. MySpace allows every member to maintain a personal blog, post photographs and videos, “share” music (only music already on the MySpace system – it works very well as marketing for little-known bands), and be “friends” with anybody who will agree to be listed as your friend.

Young people seem to use MySpace primarily to communicate by leaving photos and comments on each other’s blogs. Bands and, increasingly, filmmakers, use it to promote themselves to the lucrative youth audience.

As is true with almost every Internet community, anyone can join anonymously or under a pseudonym, or even pretend to be someone else. In other words, it’s easy for a 50-year-old pervert to pretend to be a cute teenager (complete with fake photos) in order to pick up innocent young girls or boys. It’s also easy for a 13-year-old to pretend to be 16 (even with real photographs – the way kids are growing these days, who could tell?) and get herself in over her head with an older guy in a way that neither of them intended.

All this is possible, and no doubt happens; with so many members, you’re statistically bound to have a few really bad apples. Does this mean that MySpace is inherently evil and parents should forbid their kids to use it?

danah boyd, a PhD student at Berkeley and social media researcher at Yahoo, studies online phenomena and writes about her observations with wit and wisdom. She vigorously defends MySpace as one of the few public spaces in which American teenagers can hang out (at least virtually) without overt adult supervision.

I didn’t spend my adolescence in the US and am not raising an adolescent there now, so it had not occurred to me that American kids lacked such spaces in the real world. I figured that the Chock’lit Shoppe of the Archie comics had been replaced by fastfood joints, and/or that kids hang out at malls (and spend money – don’t mall merchants love this demographic?).

Apparently I was wrong. Some convenience stores are experimenting with a sonic device which emits a piercing whine that can be heard by adolescent ears but not by duller adult hearing – so it deters the kids from hanging around in front of the store, without disturbing adult customers. Some malls are also apparently breaking up and moving on idle gangs of teens caught just hanging out.

The kids have nowhere to go after school except home, where they remain alone, in contact with other human beings only via the Internet. Hence their need and desire for MySpace.

What a terribly sad picture of adolescent life. Kids need time to get to know each other and themselves in unsupervised contexts. They need to learn how to evaluate situations and people, without the constant presence of a parent telling them what’s good or bad. They need and deserve privacy.

Perhaps part of the reason Italian teenagers seem more mature than American ones is that Italy leaves real public space for them. An advantage of living in a smallish town in Italy is that it’s completely normal for kids 14 and up to hang out downtown, even into the wee hours of the morning (on weekends), and nobody worries about it. In Lecco, the main teen hangout is a pedestrians-only piazza in the heart of downtown, which is also the site of the bar/café favored by many teens.

This piazza is also usually crowded with people of every other age – adults, seniors, tourists, small kids in strollers or on tricycles. There are restaurants and shops and several bars (NB: Italian bars mostly serve coffee). So there’s always someone around to keep an eye on things, including adults who work there or whose homes overlook the piazza. The kids hanging out are not observed by their own parents (eww – that would be gross!), but are loosely in contact with and supervised by older people; the situation is safe for all concerned.

Given the difficulty of duplicating this in an American suburb, I agree with danah – let the kids have their MySpace! It’s sad that that’s all they have, but it’s better than nothing.

Update

May 21, 2006

I was premature in assuming that “the Mosquito” had already been installed in the US – though it soon may be, since the device first came to public attention last November.

I first heard about it from Boing Boing, and here’s an accessible copy of the article they referred to.

About the Newsletter

[My] newsletter began shortly after I resigned from Roxio, the software company, in July, 2001. At the time I was the editor of two email newsletters (one for Windows, one for Macintosh) with a combined list of 180,000 subscribers, intended to help people to get the most out of their software. I used to write all the material myself (except for the Macintosh software, which I didn’t know well enough); later, when I got busier with the many other parts of my job, I hired outside writers for the feature articles. But there was something from me in every edition, and my signature was at the bottom every time. The return address was my personal email, so when people replied, they immediately reached a real person. This was an important feature, which Roxio has abandoned since my departure.

Because I took this personal approach, I knew that I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to the subscribers. I included a farewell message in my final newsletter, giving my new website address and private email.

Within two days, I got about 400 messages of thanks, condolence, and farewell (one woman assumed that Roxio had fired me, and furiously offered to complain to the company’s president). A few dozen of those messages included lines like: “Whatever you write in future, I want to read it.” This was a great morale-booster, at a time when I badly needed one. Someone specifically suggested that I start a new newsletter. So I did, and invited all those kind people who had written me to join it. And they did. So the original group of subscribers were mostly people I had never met, who knew me only through my software newsletters. I have since pestered friends and relatives to sign up, and they have graciously done so.

I originally expected to keep writing about technology, something I knew my original subscribers enjoyed reading from me. But I found that I was too burned out to think that hard, and instead began writing about what I was up to, and what was on my mind. So far, most of you have done me the honor of enjoying whatever I throw at you. (I have been writing about technology, as paying freelance work: software manuals for Roxio Germany).

I’m also enjoying the freedom of not representing a company. Admittedly, a lot of my personality was detectable in what I wrote for Roxio (this seems to be part of what made it so effective), but I avoided potentially contentious topics; public relations means making people feel good, smoothing them down rather than stirring them up. In this new venue, I’m free to be myself, and, as those who know me personally can attest, “sweetness and light” is not me!

This issue is a new departure: I’m including a guest column from my dad. We were talking about the war, he said some things that struck me, and I asked him to write about them. I know that my subscribers have a wide range of experiences and opinions, and not all may agree with him; do feel free to respond! I hope to have more guest columns in future, not because I can’t write plenty myself, but because this group is made up of interesting people with interesting thoughts and stories, which you sometimes generously share with me. I find these stories fascinating, and believe the rest of you will as well.

A few practical notes:

  • I send out newsletters no more than twice a week, usually much less. Lately it’s been more frequent because I’ve had more time and more to say; when I get busy with paying work, things get very quiet around here. I usually keep each issue to 4 or 5 pages.
  • All the newsletters are archived, so if you want to catch up on back issues in the order and format they originally appeared, go there.
  • Almost everything I publish in the newsletters I also put on this site, often adding pictures and links. For books and movies, I provide buy links to Amazon, both US and UK. If you buy via any of these links, I get a commission. So far this hasn’t made me rich, but it’s fun to see what people click through to, and a few people have actually bought (thank you!).
  • The site also contains a resumé section with pages about various facets of my work, and what people have thought of it (only the good opinions, of course <grin>). I need more freelance work, so if you know someone who might have a use for any of my skills, I’d be very grateful for leads.
  • A fantasy novel I’ve been working on for 15 years is available for download, though it’s not quite finished.

Questions, comments, and suggestions are always welcome!

Fanmail (I’m Blushing)

8 Nov 1997 – There are heaps of useful information on the Adaptec web site, though if you start out at the main home page it’s hard to find the CD-R/CD-RW stuff. If you want to look at it, try this URL: http://www.adaptec.com/support/cdrec [link no longer works]

It gives you rundowns (not always complete or consistent, but better than I’ve found elsewhere) on Adaptec’s software. Perhaps more important, it gives basic information about which software supports which hardware, which filetypes are supported in which operating systems, and like that. When the time comes, that’s also where they post patches, upgrades, and such. The honcho is a Dierdre something who has a presence in the newsgroups as well and has demonstrated a great capacity to ignore the flack, keep her cool, remain cheerily offhand, and focus on constructive substance. We need more Dierdres.

Having just started a job with a PR agency (I’m a former magazine editor), I’m acutely aware of the value of the abovementioned qualities. Please keep up the good work.

Subject: Adaptec in trouble ?
20 Nov 1997
From: nobody@REPLAY.COM (Anonymous)
Newsgroups: alt.philips.cdr.discussion

Are things going bad for Adaptec Software Products ? Why is it that “Adaptec CD-R (Deirdre’ Straughan) adaptec_cdr@wnt.dc.lsoft.com” (who also monitors a mailing-list for Adaptec Software Products) in all his replay’s includes a URL to the Adaptec Software Products site on the WWW.

I have heard about direct marketing, but is lurking around in usenet trying to drag CDR-users with some problem’s to a commercial-site not somewhat overdone ? Is this the way to stay alive for a company ?

Some research:

Author: “Adaptec CD-R (Deirdre’ Straughan)” <adaptec_cdr@wnt.dc.lsoft.com> 179 unique articles posted.

Number of articles posted to individual newsgroups (slightly skewed by cross-postings):

  • 68 comp.publish.cdrom.hardware
  • 46 comp.publish.cdrom.software
  • 22 alt.comp.periphs.cdr
  • 21 alt.cd-rom
  • 4 alt.2600.warez
  • 2 comp.sys.ibm.pc.hardware.cd-rom
  • 1 alt.binaries.warez
  • 1 alt.philips.cdr.discussion

All these posting’s contain one or more links to the Adaptec Software Products site on the WWW. I doubt if the advice given by this person is objective.

Subject: Thanx
Sat, 29 Nov 1997

Dear Ms. Straughan,

Just a few lines to thank you and your company for an excellent product in CD Creator Deluxe. One of the contributing factors in buying the program was seeing your intelligent and informative responses almost daily in the various newsgroups. It’s rare these days to see such dedication and interest given to the average consumer. Keep up the good work, and may I take this opportunity to wish you and the team a happy and prosperous New Year.

EMail Encounters: Anecdotes of a Professional Life Online

I’ve spent probably half of my working life answering email. And therein lie a number of tales…

Some people were convinced I had to be mailbot, because I answered so quickly. As I told them: “If we had a mailbot this good, we’d be selling that instead of CD-R!”

The Unexpected Response

It seems that when people write to a general address at a company, they don’t necessarily expect a response, and are surprised when they get one.

I often received extremely abusive messages from people who were angry about products, service, or whatever. I usually managed to respond calmly and politely. Most of the time, the second email from these people was a great deal politer, and a few even apologized for their previous harsh tone. On two memorable occasions, the answer was: “Ohmygod, I’m so sorry! I never thought a real human being would read that!”

Which is a sad statement about how some companies handle their email – how has it happened that this medium, which was supposed to help companies communicate with customers, is routinely used so badly that, when customers write, they don’t even expect a reply?

Bringing in the Big Guns

Perhaps this is why many people, in their very first contact with a company, come in with  bazookas blazing: “If you don’t make me a happy customer, I’m going to sic the Better Business Bureau, the Federal Trade Commission, and a pack of lawyers on you.” Or “I’m going to write to all the major magazines about how rotten you are.” As if they had to greet me with a kick in the teeth in order to get my attention.

Again, many of these people backed off as soon as they got any sort of polite and semi-competent response from the company. But it makes for a tiring workday, being barraged with abuse from people who assume that you won’t help them unless they’re nasty.

Perhaps we’d all suffer less stress if we started from the assumption that the people whose job it is to help us actually want to do so, and only escalate to threats if they fail to take that job seriously.

There were two types of aggressives who made me laugh:

  • “I’m going to put up a nasty website about you. You obviously don’t understand the power of the Internet!” (The second sentence is an actual quote that I remember very clearly – I received that message a few years ago, but, even then, trying to tell me about the power of the Internet was a clear case of ‘trying to teach Granny to suck eggs.’)
  • “I’m a journalist and write for [blank] magazine – you’d better make me happy or your name will be mud.” (Not an exact quote, but the gist was clear.) These were both amusing and irritating. By the time I left Roxio, my own newsletters had a combined circulation of over 190,000. I think that qualifies me as a well-read journalist, no? But I always bit my tongue and handed those guys over to the PR folks,  who would give them whatever special treatment they deserved.

Myself, I never treated anyone special. Or rather, I treated everyone the same. I truly felt that all customers deserved the same consideration, and all of their problems and gripes should, as far as possible, be resolved.

This runs counter to the current wisdom of “Customer Relationship Management,” which says that you should use fancy software to determine who your most valuable customers are (those who have bought the most and are most likely to buy again), and make sure that they are kept happiest (offer them special deals and so on – the same principle as frequent-flyer mileage).

Many times, the sheer fact of my answering the email kindly, even if all I could say was that I couldn’t help, reversed the customer’s attitude towards the company and “saved the day.”