personal | Countries Beginning with I

What with all the preparations, end of the school year, and various family medical traumas, I have barely had time to dwell on the fact that our daughter is about to leave home.

It’s just as well that I haven’t had that time.

Ross will be away for a full ten months (yes, I will visit). During winter vacation, the SAGE (exchange) program kids go on a one-month tour all over India, and, although it’s optional, Ross won’t want to pass that up. She will finish up at Woodstock next May 30th, presumably with enough course credits to graduate with a Woodstock diploma (equivalent to a US high school diploma).

She could theoretically then return to Italy for her fifth and final year of liceo, do the maturitÃ (Italian school leaving exam), and go on to university in Italy – which has the advantage that it’s essentially free (we have paid for it already through our taxes). However, for reasons that I don’t feel like going into right now (because I’m so angry with the Italian school system), that is looking unlikely at present. So there’s a good chance that Ross will go straight on to college in the US, with only a vacation stopover back home in Lecco. Enrico and I are staring into the abyss of an empty nest.

Not that we thought she’d live with her parents til age 30, as so many Italian young people do – the girls do tend to get away earlier, and Ross just isn’t the type to stay home. There’s a big, wide world out there, and she can’t wait to go see it all.

Ross is also turning 18, just a few days after her school year at Woodstock begins. The 18th birthday is a big deal in Italy: it’s the voting age, the age of legal adulthood, and the age at which you can drive a car (drinking age? that was a while ago). Many kids, at least in Ross’ circles, celebrate 18 in a big way. Ross didn’t quite get her act together for a big party, but had a dinner out with a gang of friends. And we’re going to see a show in London, and will be having a few other treats along the way. Anything to keep me distracted from that moment when I have to wave goodbye to her at the airport.

Comments and shoulders to cry on welcome!

^ My father’s eulogy for his sister Rosie, read by me.

The Giving Tree

~15 minutes, 23 mb

Casey (Rosie’s daughter), Sarah (granddaughter) and Dot (cousin) talk about Rosie.

above: What I said at Rosie’s funeral.

Processional

Recessional – Per New Orleans tradition: “When the Saints Go Marching In.”

New Orleans Jazz Band of Austin

cornet – Larmon Maddox

clarinet – Jim Ivy

helicon (tuba) – Mark Rubin

banjo – Tom Griffith

To hire this band (and I highly recommend them!), email Tom Griffith or call him at 512-458-9544

barbecue and music at the Old Coupland Inn

Apr 12, 2006

Funerals are traditionally held three days after the death. As my cousin Casey pointed out, there’s old wisdom in this: at three days, you’re still in shock. By six days (when Rosie’s funeral was held, to give people a chance to arrive from various parts of the world), real pain is beginning to set in. But we all got through the funeral fairly cheerfully, in part because we wanted to make a show worthy of Rosie (and we did).

Ross by Ross – Austin, April 2006

Rosie was in so much physical misery for so many years that I could not, for her own sake, wish her back to life. But it sure hurts that she’s gone. I thought this pain would at least diminish after the funeral. So far, it hasn’t. Thanks to everyone who has offered condolences and advice – it does help.

I’m trying to keep busy, when not simply too tired – crossing the Atlantic twice in six days was inherently tiring, aside from the emotional overload associated with the trip.

We got home Tuesday morning and I worked normal office hours Wednesday through Friday. Saturday I worked in the garden, clearing weeds and planting seeds. The broccoli that Domenico planted for us last fall are sprouting now and very yummy, and some of last year’s lettuce that went to seed has already come back. Beautiful pink tulips are blooming, from a bag of mixed bulbs I bought in Amsterdam last September. The daffodils have come back in force.

I concentrate on renewal and growth – that seems to help. Saturday we bought an apricot tree to plant in one corner of our vegetable garden. I don’t expect it to bear for a few years; perhaps by the time it does I won’t miss Rosie so painfully. In the meantime, I have whole hours at a time when I feel normal, even happy. Then the rollercoaster plunges again and I feel like crying.

June 30, 2006

I still miss Rosie, and probably always will. But I do feel satisfied with the funeral – as Mark Rubin pointed out, the send-off we gave Rosie clearly demonstrated, even to complete strangers, that she was a hell of a lady.

I haven’t been to many funerals, but what little experience I have of them is that they’re often more about what other people think is “right” rather than a celebration of the dead person. But I know there are counter-examples out there. Have you been to a funeral that you felt was particularly appropriate to the memory of the person? Let me know.

2: just back online after a weekend in Taos. Nice. Lots of art, some of it good. I got myself a fabulous ring.

3: feeling quite sick this morning. Don’t know if it’s yesterday’s BBQ or last night’s email bomb from my mother

4: @lskrocki Duncan Retreat, B&B belonging to friend of a friend’s sister. Turns out we had common friends in Bangkok in the 60s

5: last day in Colorado tomorrow, heading on to the Bay Area to see lots of old friends, make new ones, and, oh, yes, work.

6: a bit tired in San Francisco, trying to rest up before a week of complete insanity, followed by a week of likely stressful travel

7: Ross and the American expert: https://www.beginningwithi.com/Woodstock/rd070906.html

8: stuck in the middle with respiratory problems: http://tinyurl.com/2x3erx

9:

10:

11:

12:

13:

14:

15:

16:

17:

18:

19:

21:

23:

24:

25:

26:

30:

You might also like:

cultural differences: Ross’ new English teacher thanked her for commenting in class. Her Italian lit teacher told her she thinks too much

22: spectacular monsoon shot: http://www.fotolog.com/rossella/20297274

23:

24:

25: