Tag Archives: Italian frustrations

Pursuing a Dream of Italy

(The earlier part of this story is here.)

Actually, we didn’t spend the weekend together as a family. Ross stayed in Lecco because she had parties to attend. Enrico and I left Friday morning for Tuscany, to join a large gathering of people from the Expats in Italy online forum, a few of whom we had met last November at a local GTG (get-together) on Lake Como. We stayed with Rita and Lino, who’ve been friends since I did Rita’s website (tartarugatours.com) a couple of years ago. They’re now getting ready to move to the US where their daughters are/will be going to college, and are looking for renters for their home in Chianti.

The GTG was fun; it was interesting to meet in person some folks I only knew from their online writings, and some I didn’t know at all.

Most of the people on the Expats board are “dreaming or living the dream” of living in Italy – in other words, they made an explicit decision to be here because they love the idea of Italy, and/or wanted to get out of the United States (or other home country), and were prepared to just pack up and move, leaving behind the lives they’ve always known.

I stand in awe of these people; I don’t know if I could make a decision like that. Most of my living overseas (and practically everything else about my life) has not occurred by my choice. I grew up in Thailand, Bangladesh, and India (and Pittsburgh) because that’s where my dad’s career took us. When I decided to marry an Italian, I accepted as a consequence that we’d be living in Italy. Not that I was unhappy about it, but it was a decision that followed from my decision to marry Enrico, not a decision to follow a dream of living in Italy. (One might argue that my dream was to have a stable marriage, but that’s a topic for another time.)

When you pursue a dream, you’re willing to make sacrifices. To live in Italy, what foreigners most often sacrifice is their careers. As I wrote some time ago:

“… many Italians don’t have much choice about their work… They may choose their field of study, but even that is often strongly influenced by the family. When seeking a job, most are heavily constrained by the tight job market and their need, both economic and psychological, to stay close to home – job satisfaction is a very secondary consideration.”

Most foreigners in Italy, unless independently wealthy, are similarly constrained. We must adapt to local conditions, sometimes very local – e.g., if we have married someone who comes from and intends to remain in a small town.

It’s a startling change for anyone who valued their career in the US. America is all about choices, or so we like to think. It’s easy to pick up and move wherever opportunity beckons, and many Americans do indeed “live to work.”

The other half of that truism is that “Italians work to live,” and so do foreigners living in Italy – just like Italians, we rarely have much choice. We have the advantage of “mother tongue” command of English, and (often) a predisposition to freelance work. This means that many English-speaking expats in Italy end up teaching English and/or translating, or in some other job that relies heavily on their English.

I was aware of this before I moved to Italy, but I vowed to myself that I would not “fall back on” teaching English. The opportunity to contribute something unique to the world is very important to me – teaching English just isn’t dazzling enough! I was lucky, early on, to fall in with Fabrizio Caffarelli, a high-tech entrepreneur (a rare breed in Italy), who gave me opportunities to develop my career in new directions. It’s true that I took those opportunities and ran with them: my life’s successes have mostly been about coping extremely well with the circumstances in which other people place me – almost never about choosing to put myself in the right place at the right time.

So my hat’s off to the foreigners who actually decided to move to Italy. It was a braver decision than perhaps you realize.

The Post Office: An Italian Tradition of Bureaucracy

I hope that my friends and relatives have forgiven me for the fact that I have never mailed presents to them from Italy. I either have something shipped directly from a company in the US, or I wait til I’m in the US myself, preferably actually visiting the person in question, to give gifts.

This is because I hate the Italian post office, which symbolizes all the worst of Italian bureaucracy: poorly organized, sluggish, and completely uninterested in self-improvement.

Part of the problem is that it tries to do too many things. As in other European countries, in Italy the post office functions as a kind of government bank, where pensions are withdrawn and some types of payments to the government are made, e.g. the annual television tax, and fees for school lunches. It is also possible to make payments to third parties, such as utilities, via the post office.

As you can imagine, this banking function leads to long lines, especially during the early part of the month when all the retirees show up to collect their pensions. And, in the early years, it somehow never occurred to anybody in authority to separate postal functions from banking functions: same line, same window, whether you were paying a bill, collecting a pension, or just trying to mail a letter.

If you only needed to mail a letter, you could always buy stamps at a tabacconist. But registered letters could only be registered at the post office, and, given the unreliability of the delivery service, it was necessary to register anything whose delivery you actually cared about. Once, after standing in line for half an hour behind little old ladies carefully counting their coins, I asked the man why they didn’t have a separate window for just plain post. He gave a bored shrug. “This is the way it’s done.”

Yet, six months later, they started doing it differently: suddenly we had one window for any kind of mailing, one for stamps only, and three for banking. At first I heaved a big sigh of relief, but I soon realized that they had assigned the dimmest bulb in the office to the post window. It would take him ten minutes to figure out postage (they were still doing it by hand then) and fill in (again by hand) his part of the registration form. Sometimes he gave me the wrong form, so I would have to fill things out twice. Once, on a very urgent item, he called me when I had returned home and told me I’d have to come back and pay more, because HE had made a mistake on the postage. And he wouldn’t send this urgent letter until I’d come back and paid.

The banking function didn’t work so well, either. Each payment slip had three portions: one that vanished into the system (although the transaction was also recorded on a computer somewhere), one that you gave to the payee to prove you had paid, and one that you were supposed to keep. Unfortunately, I did not realize how critical it was to keep these receipts for the rest of your natural life. We were dunned for payment, three years after the fact, for three months of Rossella‘s 5th grade school lunches. I had entered into our home accounting system the date that these had been paid, in a single transaction, but had not kept the receipt to prove it. Enrico spent days in postal administrative offices all over Milan – the system was centralized enough to accept payment from anywhere, but not enough to allow the local branch to trace a payment that they had taken. The amount of money was not huge, but Enrico got stubborn about it, and eventually prevailed.

Another fun thing about banking in the post office is that it means that, during the early part of the month, a relatively insecure office is holding enormous amounts of cash, and doling it out to tottery old ladies. This leads to regularly-scheduled muggings and fleecings of old people just outside the post office, and to the national sport of post office robbery. I once arrived at our local PO in Milan to find a robbery underway, with a huge crowd milling outside to see what was going on. I hightailed it in the other direction.

The good news is that global competition has affected even the Italian postal system. Mail now arrives more quickly and reliably than it ever has in the past, and many post offices have become sleek, computerized, and almost a pleasure to be in. It’s no longer necessary to register everything; priority mail seems to be fast and trustworthy.

Now I’m making a real test of the system: I mailed my first-ever package from Italy, to my mother, a few weeks ago. It was a heavy book, so I didn’t send it priority, and I’m therefore not surprised that it hasn’t arrived yet. If it eventually gets there, I’ll be pleased, and maybe not even too surprised.

Feb 22, 2004 – I am happy to report that my mother received her book a day or two after the above went out.

Feb 23, 2006

I must say, the Poste Italiane are really modernizing. You can do a lot of stuff online now (such as track a registered letter), and their site even has an English version.