Religion in Italian Schools

An agreement was made in 1884 between the Italian Republic and the Vatican, modified by the Lateran Concorde of 1929, and ratified in a new law in 1985, which reads:

The Italian Republic, recognizing the value of religious culture, and keeping in mind that the principles of Catholicism are part of the historic patrimony of the Italian people, will continue to assure, among the broader goals of education, the teaching of the Catholic religion in all public schools below university level.

Respecting the freedom of conscience and educational responsibility of parents, everyone is guaranteed the right to choose whether or not to take advantage of such teaching.

When enrolling, students or their parents can exercise this right, upon request of the school authorities, and their choice may not give rise to any form of discrimination.

In accordance with the law, our daughter Rossella could have started religious education as early as pre-school. I was nervous about this, not wanting her to be catechized at such a young age, but also not wanting her to be the odd kid out. During the enrollment period, parents were invited to group meetings with the principal so that he could explain the school’s philosophy. To my surprise, one father’s biggest concern was to keep his child out of religious instruction – this man looked and sounded 100% Italian, but clearly was not very Catholic. The principal explained that, because he did not want any of his staff to teach religion, he had exercised his option to have a teacher provided by the local diocese. And, in accordance with the law, it was any parent’s right to opt out of this; a supervised alternate activity would be provided. That father and I were both much relieved.

A family friend faced a dilemma with her small child: she needed daycare, but the only place available near home was a private institution run by nuns. With some misgivings, she enrolled her son, and things went on well enough for several months. Until one day the boy came home and said to his mother: “Blessed art thou among women!” She withdrew him immediately.

Rossella’s lack of religious instruction was displayed to the public one day at a museum in Milan. After seeing many paintings of the crucifixion, she said loudly (in Italian): “What does this guy think he’s doing? A balancing act?” All heads snapped around to get a look at the pagan three-year-old.

In elementary school, Ross again did the alternativa, reading myths and legends from around the world and drawing illustrations for them. They also studied a simplified version of the UN’s Convention on the Rights of the Child. There were three or four other kids in alternativa with Ross (at least one of whom was Muslim), but most of the class were doing catechism in preparation for their confirmation (cresima – chrism) at age 9 or so. In some parts of Italian society, confirmation is a very big deal, with a fancy dress for the girls, a restaurant lunch hosted by the family, and presents – a sort of mini-wedding.

Although many prefer less fanfare and expense, most families do choose for their children to go through la cresima; it’s a tradition, though it seems to have lost most of its meaning. One little girl told me firmly: “I’m only going through this so that I can have a church wedding later on. After that, they’ll never see me again.”

The school Ross attended for 6th and 7th grade was very religious. Ross agreed that she should take religion class, to learn about this part of her Italian cultural heritage. The textbook was definitely Catholic, but no mere catechism, and the teaching was not heavy-handed. When she changed schools in 8th grade, she again took religion, and did well in the class, which even discussed some other religions.

In smaller towns, many kids who are not particularly religious or Catholic opt to participate in religion classes, simply because everyone else does – no kid wants to be the weirdo. One American friend’s son even asked if he could do the cresima, so as not to be the only kid in the class who didn’t (he hadn’t been baptized Catholic, so I’m not sure if that was possible).

In Lecco, Ross decided to take religion, like everyone else. It’s taught by a priest, Don Maurizio, but I like his attitude. The first day of class he told them: “I’m not here to convert anybody.” His main aim is to provoke the kids to think and talk about moral and ethical issues. Ross is thoughtful and articulate in his class, so he likes her, and is her champion with the other teachers (who seem to be having trouble understanding her).

That Italian Shoe Thing

My daughter has a shoe fetish, sympathizing whole-heartedly with Carrie Bradshaw‘s need for Manolo Blahniks. Ross herself owns about six pairs of sports shoes – not to run in, but because they’re fashionable (who would actually jog in Pradas?). She also owns various stylish flats, and of course riding boots. She still fondly remembers shoes she owned when she was small, such as the pink and white sneakers with cat faces and, more recently, the pink Converse All-Stars with Spongebob Squarepants laces. At least the pearly violet Fornarinas with the clunky heels didn’t last too long; she outgrew them and gave them away to a friend’s daughter, who stands in awe of Ross’ fashion sense.

I undoubtedly owned some shoes as a child, but I couldn’t tell you anything about them. Whenever possible, I went barefoot, even on the blistering-hot sidewalks in Bangkok. Yes, they were literally blistering hot, at least for novices. When Julianne moved into the big house up the soi (lane) from us, I offered to show her the neighborhood, including the pool next door that we were entitled to use. “Should I put my shoes on?” she asked (in Thailand, no one wears shoes in the house). “Oh, no, it’s only around the corner.” By the time we got there, the soles of her feet were covered in blisters. I guess mine were too callused to feel the heat.

I also went barefoot at my aunt’s place out in the country in Texas, where the hazards were bull nettles and cowflops. If you had to step in something, cowflops were preferable to bull nettles.

Anyway, growing up in the tropics, I didn’t need much shoeing, and to this day am most comfortable in sandals, or no shoes at all. But, having moved to colder climates, I had to come to terms with closed shoes much of the year.

This wasn’t a huge problem in high school and college, where I could usually get away with sneakers (as we used to call sports shoes). Sneakers were even cool. I remember how impressed we all were with the first running shoes we ever saw (Adidas) in Delhi, around 1979.

But now I live in Italy, where an adult wearing sports shoes outside of an actual sporting event (aside from the odd – very odd – jogger) is immediately marked as an American tourist.

I ignored this for years in Milan, didn’t much care what people thought. My sole concession was to buy a pair of leather shoes for the winter – Timberland hiking boots, but at least they’re black, and a bit more elegant than the classic clumpy boot. I love those boots, and was looking forward to getting back into them this winter.

However, I’ve found that, while hiking boots still have their place around the stables, they aren’t good enough for downtown Lecco. This is a small town where everyone knows, or at least notes, everyone else, and I don’t want to disgrace my family. Well, unless it’s raining.

Which brings me, kicking and screaming, into the world of fashion. It’s hard in Italy to buy the simple “classic” shoe styles that I like and find comfortable; all you’ll see in the shops are this season’s trends. For the last few years, the trend has been extremely pointy. In fashion, what goes around comes around – again and again and again. At school, rooting around backstage in the costume trunks, we once found a pair of very old, very pointy shoes. We took turns clomping around in them and had a good laugh. “Cockroach stompers!” – so pointy that you could easily reach into a corner to stomp a cockroach. That’s what’s in the shop windows in Italy (and on my daughter’s feet) these days.

Fortunately, I had bought a couple of pairs of semi-respectable shoes a few years ago, when square toes were in fashion. I don’t like square toes much more than pointy ones, but at least they don’t pinch my toes together and make my feet look even longer than they already are.

I don’t wear high heels, either. I love the look, but lack the balance. My favorite shoes, and the most comfortable heels I own, are cowboy boots, which Sue and I bought after an epic six-hour search all over Dallas (Sue is the only person with whom I could have survived and actually enjoyed this). They’re dancing boots, mid-calf height, black, with fringe. They’re some comfortable that I used to travel in them, though they’re very noisy on hard flooring – people would turn around in airports to stare.

I will say for Italian shoes that they’re very well-made and comfortable. Other shoes you have to “break in,” which really means that they’re breaking you in – you first develop blisters, and then calluses, where they rub. With Italian shoes, I simply put them on and start walking, and have never gotten a blister.

Let Us Now Praise Amazon

The Best Source for English-Language Books in Italy

Enrico and I read a lot (Rossella, alas, does not). Our house is stuffed with books, many of which we have read several times over – if I don’t expect to want to read a particular book ever again, I give it away.

Obtaining books was a problem when we first moved to Italy. I do read in Italian, but prefer to read books in their original language when I can. The exception is mysteries, which I read in Italian because my mother-in-law has a huge collection, and I consider it a waste to buy them since I will read most of them only once.

There is one mid-sized foreign-language bookstore in Milan, but it’s expensive, as all the books are imported. So I had to depend on trips to the US or England, from which I would return loaded with books. I learned a little-known secret of the US postal service, the M bag: you pack up books in boxes and they stuff the boxes into a big canvas bag, which can be shipped surface mail for a special low rate. It’s so little-known that, in some post offices, I had to explain it to the counter clerk.

I first heard about Amazon around 1995. “An online bookstore? What a fantastic idea!” But sending books all the way from the US was a problem. I tried every option. FedEx was tremendously expensive, and airmail not much cheaper. Surface mail was tremendously slow. But I had to feed my book habit.

I was saved by the opening of Amazon UK. Packages can be sent fairly cheaply by ordinary British Royal Mail, and arrive within days. I was worried at first that non-couriered packages would simply disappear into the maw of the Italian postal service, as so many packages do. But Amazon was prepared to deal with that. The first time it happened, I emailed customer service, and a replacement package was sent immediately, this time by courier, for no extra charge. I became a fanatically loyal customer at that moment. The original package never did turn up; Amazon didn’t mind.

Later, I wrote to them when a large and expensive shipment of books (computer stuff) had not arrived after three weeks. “This could be the usual summer slowdown, so I’m willing to wait longer,” I said. They sent a replacement anyway and, sure enough, the original package arrived a few days after the replacement. “What should I do with these duplicate copies?” I asked. “Donate them to a school,” said Amazon, so I took them to Woodstock on my next visit.

This has happened several more times, but I’ve only been asked to send back DVDs. Books and DVDs that have gone permanently missing have been replaced without a murmur. The most recent example is the Firefly DVD set, which I ordered from Amazon US as soon as it was released, December 9th, along with a book for my Woodstock history research. I chose ordinary airmail – much cheaper than courier. The two items were shipped separately, the DVDs a few days earlier than the book. The book arrived on Dec 22nd, the DVDs still haven’t shown up. On December 30th I wrote to Amazon, again saying that I was willing to wait a bit longer and see if it had simply got lost in the holiday rush. Within two hours, I had a response: they were sending replacement DVDs. Now that’s customer service.

I wish other companies worked as well. Lands’ End opened a UK branch a few years ago, great news for me as I depend on them for turtlenecks and fleece jackets. (I hate shopping. Once I find something I like, I stick to it forever.) The prices were high: they decided that a 10-dollar item would cost 10 pounds, when the pound was actually worth about 30% more (now that the dollar has devalued further against the pound, there has finally been some price adjustment). But they have an overstocks section on the UK site, so I can often pick up items I like very cheaply. Sometimes I save on shipping by having things mailed to my dad’s house in the UK when I’m going there on a visit (which also means I can bring less clothing with me).

So, before my October visit to my dad, I browsed the overstocks section and picked out ten turtlenecks, each of them under 6 pounds. When the package arrived, it contained 11 items – one was a duplicate that I had not been charged for. I could have just kept it, but, scrupulously honest creature that I am, I decided to let them know what had happened. I emailed customer service, fully expecting them to say: “Just keep it, thanks for letting us know.” They didn’t. They wanted it back, which would involve a trip to the post office, although they offered to refund the postage. This for an item from their overstock section that cost about 5 pounds. Sheesh. Get a clue from Amazon, folks.

Feb 2, 2004

The lost Firefly DVDs turned up, almost two months after the original order was placed. I wrote to Amazon to ask what they wanted me to do. “As the cost of return shipping is prohibitively expensive in this case, we ask that you keep the duplicate order with our compliments. Perhaps you can donate it to a school or library in your area.”

As you have probably noticed, I am also an Amazon “associate”, meaning that, if you click from my site to Amazon and end up buying something, I get a percentage. In the third quarter of last year I finally made enough money this way to actually get a gift certificate: $18. Thanks to those who you who clicked through and bought!

Scenes from the Fashion World

Milan, as someone is sure to tell you when you go there, is one of the fashion capitals of the world. This never affected my life there in any direct way (and I sometimes wonder about fashion’s real effects on everyday Milanese), but, during the spring and fall fashion weeks, the city is suddenly full of tall, skinny people, walking around purposefully with big binders under their arms. Some of them are indeed remarkably beautiful, but it’s surprising how ordinary many of them look, without the makeup. Except for being impossibly tall and skinny.

Some years ago, on the Milan metro, I witnessed the following scene:

Three young Italian men boarded the train. They were reasonably good-looking and stylishly dressed, buttoned up for warmth in their trendy new black leather jackets, their hair artfully combed and gelled. They talked loudly, clearly wanting to draw attention to their own utter coolness. A couple of stops later, the doors slid open, and in glided two more young men. Not Italian, possibly American – they didn’t say a word, so I couldn’t guess by the language. They weren’t extremely tall, but they were built. Their scuffed-up leather jackets were draped negligently, hanging half off their muscular shoulders. Their jeans were casually torn and maybe a bit grimy. Their manes of dark blond hair were tousled. They flung themselves across four seats, sprawling elegantly, every movement and body angle exuding: “We’re so gorgeous, we don’t have to do anything to attract your attention but just BE here.”

The three young Italians got very quiet and very small. At the next stop, they slunk off the train without a word.

Colpo di Fumo

I wrote earlier about Italian superstitions, including the dreaded colpo d’aria – a draft of cold air, blamed for everything from head colds to paralysis. Zeev responded:

“Christmas of ’87 was the first time I went to Italy. At that time I was living in Ticino [the Italian part of Switzerland] for an extended period; I have good memories from the area, but being in Mendrisio in the evenings is like being alone in the desert. A few days before Christmas, I realized that being there during the holiday season would be even worse, so I decided to use the time to see some people in Germany and Sweden.

I took the train to Köln. The cars were full of happy Italians travelling north for a vacation. There was one drawback to the company: everybody was smoking heavily. I had quit smoking about 10 years earlier, and had difficulty with smoke. I asked them to do me a favor and stop smoking in the compartment, but their understanding of the situation was that it was my problem, so I should leave the compartment – which of course wouldn’t solve a thing, as the corridors were also full of smoking Italians. So I opened the window. To my surprise, everybody fled the compartment within seconds. Now I finally know why: colpo d’aria.”


I wish that approach worked for me. We often find ourselves surrounded by smokers at restaurants, but occasionally we also happen to be near a window. If we open it, however, someone is bound to whine about the corrente (draft), a complaint which is always considered reasonable, whereas our complaining about smoke is not taken in the same spirit. One of the few things I miss about life in the United States, and especially California, is the lack of smoke. I will be relieved when Europe catches up.

Which may take a while. Italian restaurateurs are up in arms over a new anti-smoking law, due to come into effect next January, which will force them to create ventilated smoking areas physically separated from non-smoking areas.

A few larger restaurants already have non-smoking sections, though it can be difficult to get seated in them. One place we used to frequent had such an area, but closed it off sometimes when there was a shortage of waiters. Recently, at another restaurant, they didn’t want to seat only three of us in the non-smoking section, because the tables were set for four or five. I had to insist that we were non-fumatori accaniti (ferocious non-smokers). One very good pizzeria near our former home in Milan never had a problem seating us in one of its two large non-smoking rooms, though these were always more crowded than the smoking area. It seems that there is unmet demand, even in Italy, for smoke-free dining.

Sadly, smoking is still very much in vogue here, and socially accepted even for 13- and 14-year-olds. Many kids consider it a declaration of adulthood, and begin as soon as they reach high school, if not earlier. As far as I can tell, their parents don’t even try to combat it, and tobacconists have no qualms about selling cigarettes to young kids. Rossella is one of few non-smokers in her class (students are allowed to smoke on school grounds, although, as of this year, not inside the building); by now she’s made such a fuss about her friends smoking that she’d look like a complete idiot if she ever tried it (good!).


Feb 9, 2004

From March 1st, smoking will be completely banned on all Eurostar and Intercitytrains in Italy. It is already banned on all most regional (local) trains, which leads to scenes of smokers lined up at the door, cigarettes already in hand, as the train pulls into the station. They barely get one foot on the platform before they light up, one after another, hurrying away in a desperately-puffing line.


Apr 16, 2004

I’m pretty certain that Italy’s new rules about non-smoking sections in restaurants will only come into force next January, but, to my surprise and delight, several of our favorite restaurants have already gone completely non-smoking. It appears that some restaurant owners and staff were glad to have the excuse. I wish Austria were as forward-looking. We didn’t get to enjoy any of Vienna’s centuries-famous coffee bars; every one we stepped into reeked of stale smoke and beer. So we ended up at Starbucks, that bastion of American cultural imperialism, where smoking was not allowed.


Apr 27, 2004

I finally asked a bar owner why some bars and restaurants have already gone totally non-smoking; I thought the law didn’t go into effect til next year. He explained that the law actually went into effect THIS January, requiring all public places to have a completely separate and ventilated room for smokers, or to ban smoking completely. Those who choose to separate out the smokers have a year’s grace period in which to do the construction; those who have no such intention are supposed to already be completely non-smoking. Of course, this being Italy, there are probably some (many?) who have not yet done anything and will claim, if asked, that they intend to build a smoking section by next January, when in fact they have no such intention (or ability – some places are simply too small), and are just buying themselves and their smoking customers another year.

Interestingly, the recent ban on smoking in pubs in Ireland seems to have gone down well, in spite of strident protests before it went into effect. It was widely supported before the fact by the union of pub employees, and many customers seem now to find that they actually prefer their pubs without smoke. The die-hards are reportedly organizing booze-and-smoking parties in their own homes, which will cause the pubs to lose business (and the neighbors to complain), but won’t damage the alcohol industry.

Deirdré Straughan on Italy, India, the Internet, the world, and now Australia