Overheard on Campus

A group of young students were sitting by the turtle pond when we stopped by to say hi to our turtles’ relatives. One (girl, not turtle) concluded a cellphone conversation and turned to the others:

“Guess what Mary just told me! She smoked dope with her mom!”

Her friends’ reactions were mostly of the “Eww!” variety. The conversation then turned to to who else’s parents smoke dope (most of the group), how they had learned about it, and whether they would ever smoke with their parents. Some parents had tried to hide the fact from their kids, as ineptly as they might once have tried to hide from their own parents: “He said it belonged to a friend, but I knew it was his.”

Kids today. You just can’t tell ’em anything.

Good Food in Austin

No one should go to Texas without eating Mexican food, and we were fortunate to have my cousin Guy’s guidance to the good stuff. We ate at El Mercado (on Lavaca), some of the best Tex-Mex I’ve ever had. Standard enchiladas and fajitas, but the enchilada sauces (one green tomatillo, one red) were amazing.

We had Sunday brunch at Chez Zee, sitting at the bar because there was a half-hour wait for a table and I didn’t want to spend two hours on a meal. While trying to find decent food over Valentine’s weekend, I had occasion to reflect on the fact that it’s rare to wait for a restaurant in Italy – I can’t think of a single time we’ve done it, perhaps because, if a given restaurant is full, there’s always another great one nearby. Not always the case in the US. Chez Zee might even have been worth the wait, but eating at the bar was fine, especially as we were right behind the talented jazz pianist/singer, to better enjoy her music.

During our wanderings, Ross and I lunched one day at the Kerbey Lane Café near the UT campus, a great place for healthy food (including vegetarian). For one dinner we went the opposite route, with fancy steaks at Dan McKlusky’s. The food was very good, but the dining experience was spoiled by our fellow diners. Due to some weird acoustics where we sat in the front corner, everything seemed very loud, especially from the next table, where a man had invited two people for a business dinner in hopes of “getting your thoughts on this” (some business proposition). I don’t think he got many of their thoughts, because he did 99% of the talking himself – loudly – and we all learned far more about him than we needed to know. Lack of sensitivity to others is a common handicap among computer geeks, which he evidently was (his tales included his early days on punch-card machines and more recent excitement at visiting the world’s largest flight simulator facility). His daughter was student president of something or other at the University of Houston; evidently she is more astute in dealing with humans than her father is.

Our best meal was at the home of Julia and Dani. Julia is a friend of my old friend Barb. Thanks to Barb, she has been reading my newsletter for some time, and we’ve occasionally exchanged emails about something I’d written. So when I knew I was coming to Austin, I dropped her a line, and she invited us for dinner. “Spankyville,” as they call their place (named after their cat Spanky), is one of the most comfortable homes I’ve ever been in. Comfortable in the sense of a nice place to be: as soon as we walked in, we knew that we were among friends in a house full of warmth. It’s hard to explain, but a few rare places in the world make you feel that way. And we sure needed it right then.

The Chinese/Mongolian hot pot dinner was great; it’s a tradition in Julia’s family ever since her father, years ago, invited the entire Chinese Students’ Association of Texas Tech home for Thanksgiving dinner.

cooking at Spankyville

Welcome to Spankyville: Texas Hospitality, with a Twist

shot Feb 13, 2005, 2:59 mins, 10.4 MB

compressed with Sorenson Squeeze at 360 kbps video, 96 kbps audio

music by Crosby, Stills & Nash

I’m just back from my third trans-Atlantic trip in six weeks, this one an emergency visit to Austin, Texas, where various of my relatives seemed to be dying. My aunt Rosie did indeed look like death when we arrived, but improved over the week; it now seems that she will survive this latest crisis. (Rosie’s health problems were originally caused by botched surgery, a long, painful story that I will go into some other time.)

Rossella volunteered to accompany me and shore me up emotionally, which she did very effectively. We stayed in hotels near the hospital and of course spent a lot of time at the hospital, but also saw a number of friends and relatives, and a good bit of Austin. I didn’t bother to rent a car; we got rides a lot of the time, and taxis are cheap. We also did an unTexan amount of walking, one day making a circuit from St. David’s hospital on 32nd street, through the University of Texas campus, down to 12th and West Lynn for lunch with a friend, and back again to 21st where we finally called a cab back to the hospital. Warm spring weather was an inducement to be outdoors – the Texas air smelled wonderful after three weeks of rain, and we knew we’d be coming back to more winter in Lecco (where it’s snowing today).

Aside from the circumstances, it was nice to be back in Austin, where I had passed some of my college years. The city has grown a lot, vertically downtown and horizontally towards the edges, but most of the areas familiar to me looked much the same, with funky houses and lots of trees. Sadly, many of the beautiful, twisty Texas live oaks are dying of oak wilt, leaving brown swathes among the green.

more Spankyville here!

Sex Education in Italian Schools

What with all the fuss in the US about sex education in schools, I was curious to know what, if anything, would be done about it in Italian schools. I got my answer recently, when Ross’ class [then age 15] had two 3-hour sessions at school. Parents were not notified before or after, and wouldn’t have known it was happening unless their kids told them. Ross told me quite a bit about it, though I’m not prepared to swear that she told me everything.

A representative of the local health agency (ASL) came with a young woman who was observing as part of her psychology studies. There was an icebreaker in which the kids (mostly jokingly) introduced each other, then an exercise in which they were told a story about a girl who needs to get across a river to see her boyfriend. The boatman says he’ll take her if she’ll have sex with him. She has no other way to reach her boyfriend, so she doesn’t know what to do. She goes to her mother, who says she doesn’t want to be involved.

The girl finally resolves to have sex with the boatman. When she reaches her boyfriend she tells him what happened, and he rejects her for having sex with someone else. The class was asked to determine who, in this improbable story, is “responsible.” (Whether they were meant to address “responsibility” in the sense of who was responsible for what happened, or in the sense of behaving responsibly, was not clear – perhaps deliberately.)

Ross told me that this degenerated into a vicious argument over abortion – “Who would be responsible if she got pregnant?”. Lecco is a very Catholic town, and the ASL lady told the class that, although abortion is legal, they would have trouble finding anyone in Lecco to perform one. I guess it’s good to be warned; fortunately, Milan is easily reached, should the need arise. More importantly, local health authorities are taking the correct steps to prevent the *need* for abortion: the kids were given detailed information on birth control and the use of condoms for disease prevention as well as birth control. They were also told that they can go to a youth clinic at their local ASL for more information, with or without their parents’ knowledge. The ASL lady said that they do try to involve parents in any big decisions (such as abortion), but that the kids have the right to keep their parents out of it if they prefer.

Interestingly, abstinence was never mentioned. I asked Ross why she thought the ASL lady didn’t discuss it as an option. “Oh, everyone would have jumped all over her.” It was clear that a number of the kids are already sexually active, and no judgment upon them was given or implied. Wow. Health care professionals who are allowed to approach teen sex realistically. What a concept.

I’m very relieved that the ASL takes these initiatives. As far as Ross and I can tell, I’m the only mother among her friends who talks to her kid about sex, and, from what Ross tells me, dangerous misinformation abounds among her Italian peers. If the parents aren’t talking to these kids, someone has to –the stakes these days are life and death. Ross’ friends know that I talk to her (I’m considered the coolest mom in Lecco for several reasons, including that), so I hope they’d feel comfortable talking to me if they needed to, but I’m glad someone more authoritative and knowledgeable is there for them – it diminishes my risk of being lynched by the good parents of Lecco!

^ Top: Sex education doesn’t stop at school. The public health poster shown above says “Defend yourself from AIDS, not from someone you like. Age does not save you from the risk of contagion.”

Vloggercon 2005

Rossella and I had a wonderful time in New York (as expected), though I spent much of it ill with bronchitis (as usual, unfortunately). So here’s another travelogue (late, because I’ve been very busy since I got back):

Getting There is Half the Fun?

We arrived the afternoon of Thursday the 20th, on a direct flight from Milan Malpensa airport. That was the easy part. We had taken a train from Lecco to Milan’s Central Station, where we would catch an airport bus. As we were waiting on the platform in Lecco, we heard an announcement that the train just before ours had been cancelled due to “material problems,” possibly related to the snow that had fallen two days before. This missing train was to be replaced by a bus. Our own train was on time, and I had calculated a comfortable margin to catch a bus and get to the airport –I’m a paranoid traveler, I never aim to make a flight by the skin of my teeth.

Our express train made an unscheduled stop in Calolziocorte, the next town down the line, I supposed because the substitute bus service had not stopped there. Further on, we stopped unexpectedly, not at a station platform. Everyone looked puzzled as we just sat there. After a few minutes, the conductor came bustling through, saying: “Some people have blocked the line and stopped the train.” She was shortly followed by said people. They had been waiting for the cancelled local train at their small station, and the substitute bus had not arrived. After watching several other trains pass without stopping, and seeing their pleas to the stationmaster fall on deaf ears, they had taken matters into their own hands and blocked the track to force our train to stop so they could all pile on. (our train was already standing-room only). Ross and I were sitting on fold-down seats in an corridor because our suitcase would have blocked the aisle in the main part of the carriage, so we now found ourselves hemmed in by elbows and loud conversation.

At that time of day, trains into Milan are tightly scheduled, and once you’re off schedule, you often have to wait for another train coming or going on the same stretch of track. This being the case, the powers that be evidently decided that our express train might as well be a local, and thenceforth we made every stop, with more passengers getting on til we were packed like sardines. To reduce pollution, Milan had declared several days of “alternate license plates,” meaning that only cars with odd-numbered plates could drive in the city that day, increasing pressure on the trains as people who normally drove were forced to take the train.

The trip which should have taken 45 minutes took nearly two hours. My margin of comfort was eaten completely away, and there was nothing I could do but stew and stare at people’s stomachs as we stopped, started, crawled, and stopped again. No announcements were given of any sort, let alone to tell us when we might expect to arrive in Milan. I mentioned that I’m a nervous traveler, right?

We finally arrived at Milan’s Central Station and raced for the airport bus stand (down the left-hand staircase, the buses are parked right outside) and onto a bus, which fortunately was leaving immediately. Thanks to the alternate license plates, there was less traffic than usual, and we made it to Malpensa at 10 am, just about the required two hours before the flight. As it turned out, I shouldn’t have worried: the flight was half empty, so we stood in line only long enough to be asked the usual inane security questions before we reached the check-in desk.

The flight itself was uneventful; for the record, “The Princess Diaries 2” was more bearable than “Catwoman,” and “The Village” was better than both — and arrived at JFK airport on time.

We took a cab from the airport to our friend’s place near Columbia University, went out to dinner with her, bought some cough medicine, and went to bed.

Why We’re Here

As far as Rossella was concerned, we went to New York to shop. Friday morning we got an early start with breakfast at Tom’s Restaurant , a greasy spoon diner whose claim to fame is that it was used in “Seinfeld”; we went there because it was close. We had pancakes and bacon, so-so coffee, and orange juice in tiny plastic glasses that had been washed so many times they were cloudy. Thus fuelled against the cold, we hit the city.

We bought 7-day passes for the MTA (Metropolitan Transit Authority –subways and buses) for $21 each. We swiped them and went through the turnstiles, then I realized that from this side we could only go uptown, and we wanted to go downtown. I often get confused about that; New York’s is the only subway system I know that has separate entrances for uptown and downtown trains (at some stations). We crossed Broadway to the downtown entrance, swiped our cards, but the turnstile blocked us with the message “card just used.” The lady at the booth told us that, once you swipe the card, it can’t be swiped again for 18 minutes, presumably so that multiple people can’t use the same card to travel together. (Why precisely 18 minutes?) But she let us go through the turnstile immediately anyhow, “now that you know the rules.”

This was an early example of how nice almost everyone in New York was. New Yorkers have or had a reputation for being brusque, even downright rude, especially to tourists. But I’ve rarely experienced this, in many years of visits to the city. People even went out of their way, unasked, to be nice. One of the many times that Ross’ MTA card was repeatedly rejected at the turnstile for no good reason, a lady who was just coming out swiped her card so that Ross could enter.

We were constantly delighted with the service in stores. You can get good service in Italy, especially from family-owned small shops, but really bad service is sadly common, especially in chain stores where no one seems to feel any “ownership” of the customer experience. I am constantly amazed at how well-trained chain store employees are in the US; they can’t ALL have such cheerful personalities, surely?

Encouraged by all this good service –and the low dollar – we shopped a lot. Ross wanted Ugg boots , and Susan recommended buying them at Harry’s Shoes. While Ross was trying them on, another salesman came along and said “That’s the exact same style and color that Sarah Jessica Parker wore in an episode of €˜Sex & the City'”. Smart man – if Ross hadn’t been sold before, she was now! I tried on a pair myself, which immediately sold me on them. Uggs are basically a trendy excuse to wear warm, cozy sheepskin slippers in public –my feet have rarely been so happy in winter. The boots even stood up to the blizzard and subsequent days of slush with only minor salt damage.

The Blizzard

shot Jan 22-24, 2:05 mins

music by Lena Horne

It started Saturday morning while we were at the videoblogging conference, and continued without letup until Sunday. The streets were eerily, magically deserted (see video), but the subways ran smoothly, so we had no trouble getting from the conference (held at NYU’s Tisch School of Art) to the place we were staying uptown, back down to Tribeca for a party, and back up to Susan’s again.

Sunday we were out most of the day. Walking around in the slush, snow, and ice was tiring, but we were able to get most everywhere we wanted to go by subway, including a matinee of Hairspray, which was every bit as great as we had hoped and expected –for a good time on Broadway, I highly recommend it. The sets were gorgeous and clever. It took me a while to figure out why the backdrop of colored lights looked so familiar, til I finally dredged up a fragment of my childhood: it’s a giant Lite Brite!

Hot, Hot, Hot

I have complained before that Americans tend to overdo air conditioning. As I learned in New York, they also overdo heating, which I don’t think is good for anybody’s health. When it’s well below freezing outside (20 F), it’s a shock to the system to enter a store or home heated to 80 F. One store I went into (Best Buy) was apparently heated for the comfort of the employees (in short-sleeved polo shirts), without regard for the comfort of patrons, who were coming in off the street in multiple layers of sweaters and coats. It was so hot that I felt nauseated and nearly fainted in the checkout line. I would have liked to stay longer and look at MP3 players, but I simply couldn’t take the heat.

Videobloggers

lunch break: Leslye, Deirdré & Andrew

The official reason for the trip was to attend the world’s first conference of Video Bloggers. I originally started hanging out with them (online) last June, because I had a feeling that their interests would intersect with those ofTVBLOB, the high-tech startup I’m working for. I was right: these folks are the cutting-edge early adopters who will help to drive the development and use of technology such as ours. The videobloggers are also a fun, creative, invigorating bunch of people, so it was a privilege to hang out with them, and hear and see the results of a great deal of hard thinking (and shooting, editing, and coding) that they are putting into the joys and problems of distributing video over the Internet.

I had told Ross that, in order to accompany me to New York, she had to qualify as a videoblogger by doing at least one blog before we left. She proved (to my complete unsurprise) to be a natural in front of the camera. She’s having fun with it, and so are her classmates. What the text- and photo-based web has been to my generation, video will be to hers, so it’s good that she is already learning how to express herself both behind and in front of the camera. Several of the videobloggers told her they’re fans of her work, and her videos are already more popular (in terms of traffic) than mine!

photo by Dan Melinger on Flickr

Deirdré Straughan on Italy, India, the Internet, the world, and now Australia