Consolation
– with that name, she could be a denizen of Dogpatch! – who distracts all the men from their wives, apparently because it’s their last chance for an extramarital fling. |
Uomini, eccomi! |
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Men, here I am! |
E’ arrivata Consolazione |
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Consolation has arrived. |
Consolazione di nome e di fatto |
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“Consolation” by name and in fact |
Per consolarvi ho certi argomenti |
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I have certain ways to console you |
Prova per credere |
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Try it to believe it |
Facciamo un patto |
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Let’s make a deal: |
Se dopo voi non restate contenti |
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If afterwards you aren’t content, |
Sulla parola di Consolazione vi rimborso la consumazione! |
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On the word of Consolation, your money back! |
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Mando il mondo in visibilio, tutti chiedono di me |
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I cause the world to …, everyone asks for me |
L’avventura a domicilio |
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“Adventure at home” |
L’ho inventata e sai perché |
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I invented it, and you know why |
È una vera vocazione |
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It’s a true vocation |
A nessuno dico no |
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I don’t say no to anyone |
E se vuoi consolazione |
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and if you want consolation |
Me la chiedi |
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You ask me – |
Te la do* |
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and I give it. |
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Se per colpa degli eventi |
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If because of [by fault of] events |
sei più triste di un cipresso |
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you are sadder than a cypress |
e la sera tu ti senti |
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And in the evening you feel |
malinconico e depresso |
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melancholy and depressed |
se per questa depressione |
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If because of this depression |
il morale tuo sta giù |
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Your morale is down |
tu vieni da tu vieni da Consolazione |
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You come to, you come to Consolation |
e lei te lo ritira su! |
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And she’ll pull it back up for you! |
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Un due tre |
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One, two, three |
UOMINI Prima a me |
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MEN: Me first! |
Quattro cinque sei |
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Four, five, six |
UOMINI Comincia da me |
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MEN: Start with me |
sei sette otto, chi è senza biglietto |
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Six, seven, eight. Who doesn’t have a ticket? |
UOMINI io io io! |
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MEN: Me me me! |
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Si faccia pure sotto**, sotto sopra in qualsiasi posizione |
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Step right up [it’s done below], below, above, in any position |
L’importante è non dire mai di no |
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The important thing is never to say no |
E se vuoi Consolazione |
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and if you want Consolation |
UOMINI La vogliamo |
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MEN: We want it/her! |
Aho ve la do! |
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Oh, and I’ll give it to you! |
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dialog: Toto’ asks what she’s selling.
“This!” she says, showing her breasts.
“I only see a pair of zinne,” he responds.
“What did you expect me to have – four?” |
Mi vuoi esotica o nostrana |
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Do you want me exotic or local |
turca greca russa o indù |
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Turk, Greek, Russian or Hindu |
Preferisci l’egiziana |
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Do you prefer the Egyptian |
Faccio tutto, scegli tu! |
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I do everything, you choose! |
E per te Consolazione egiziana diverrà |
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And for you Consolation will become Egyptian |
Tutankà tutankà tutankamera veniteme a trovà ! |
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Tutan[khamen]… [everything in the room] – come up and see me! |
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UOMINI Consolazione Consolaziò-ò-ò |
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men: Consolation |
Tu sei l’ultima occasione |
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You’re the last chance/last sale |
Non possiamo dire no |
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We can’t say no |
Voglio la Consolazione |
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I want Consolation! |
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La volete? |
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You want it? |
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UOMINI Si! |
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Yes! |
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Io ve la dooooooooo, siiii |
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I’ll give it to you, yes! |
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UOMINI
Consolazione consolazione, dammi tutto tutto dammi consolazione! |
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Consolation, give me everything, give me consolation. |
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* Te la do – “I’ll give it to you” – to give “it” is used as a euphemism for a woman to give sex.
God, however, has something up his sleeve to take care of this little setback. Toto, the (unmarried) village idiot, has been hanging about the sidelines of this scene, too dense to know what to do with a woman. God suddenly gives him the necessary knowledge, and he shoulders aside the other villagers to reach Consolation, who takes one look at his, er, talents, and closes the door on everyone else, leaving them to go back to their wives.
next: Notte Per Non Dormire 2
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