Sometimes Google’s news-finding algorithm doesn’t quite get it right. The photo (which turns out to be from the announcement of a local theater production of “Kiss Me, Kate”) puts a rather odd spin on this piece of corporate news from Sun.
Category Archives: bio
2007 in Review
above: another gorgeous winterline sunset, Mussoorie, December 2007
The past year was so busy that, in spite of the many articles, photos, and videos I published here, there are still travels and events that I haven’t even mentioned, video and photos you haven’t yet seen. 2008 is shaping up to be even busier so, in case I never get to those, I thought I’d do a quick gallop through 2007 and at least hint at some of the stuff you missed.
The first half of 2007 was mostly awful. But, somewhere around August, things changed drastically for the better, and I began to think of having a T-shirt made saying: “Life doesn’t suck.”
January
6: As a Christmas present from my dad, Ross and I, along with some of the British side of our family, saw Spamalot in London, the very last night that Tim Curry was in the cast. Fantastic! We also had our portraits taken.
14: Enrico and I took a day trip to Sormano and other points on the Lake Como peninsula above Bellagio
19-21: In Rome for my first (but not last) barCamp.
February
Ross and I were busy completing her application to Woodstock School, due March 1st. Much anxiety around this whole process, not least: wondering how I would pay for tuition.
14-19: I visited my dad in the UK again. I don’t remember now if this was because he had been in the hospital again or what.
^ Alpini in Lecco, March 2007
March
7: Attended the Cisco Expo in Milan.
20: Began working for Sun Microsystems, as a part-time contractor. First trip to Broomfield, Colorado, returning on the 28th, just in time for:
30: First Girl Geeks Dinner Italia
31: rItalia Camp
Infant apricots on the young tree in our garden. late March, 2007
April
Worked on my garden, held down two jobs, Ross got accepted to Woodstock (and now I knew that I could pay for it).
hothouse geraniums, Apr 15, 2007
22: Visited Milan Design Week with Ringae Nuek. (No, that’s not her in the picture.)
this was taken in the courtyard of Castello Sforzesco
28: Enrico and I went to the Castello di Vezio, near home on Lake Como.
May
15: Flew to Colorado for Sun again. Visited my classmate Tin Tin in her fly genetics lab. Returned to Italy just in time for:
26: FemCamp
June
Continued preparations for Ross to go to Woodstock, including getting her student visa for India.
17: Had lunch with Pamela, a Woodstock alumna, and her Swiss-Italian husband Tino at their holiday home on Lake Como.
21-25: Visited England while my dad was having knee surgery again.
Towards the end of the month, a doctor saw something she didn’t like on my mammogram, which began a period of torture and extreme anxiety. Around the same time, my mother was having an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit removed. Which, thankfully, turned out to be benign.
at the beach – July 6, 2007
July
5-8: We drove down to Roseto degli Abruzzi for my mother-in-law’s 80th birthday, stopping along the way at an excellent restaurant near Modena.
11: Finally got the word on my biopsy: no cancer. The next evening, to celebrate, we had expensive cocktails with friends before we all went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix together (in English) in Milan.
14: Had a visit from Peter and Peggy Jenks, former Woodstock staff.
21: I (and a bunch of other people) won a dinner at one of Italy’s finest restaurants, Symposium, in Le Marche, sponsored by San-Lorenzo.com. Spent the night in the nearby town of Cartoceto, which Susan and I toured the next day in intense heat.
28: Ross and I flew to London with her 46 kilos of luggage, to spend a few days with my dad and Ruth, and pre-celebrate Ross’ 18th birthday:
August
1: Ross flew out from Heathrow. Her departure did not go smoothly. But she got there safely and was happily launched on her great India adventure.
3: I flew to Colorado to spend my vacation (from TVBLOB) working for Sun, staying with Tin Tin again.
when geeks do urban planning – Broomfield, CO – Aug 2007
11: Ross turned 18 at Woodstock. By this time we were getting regular phone calls from her and knew that she was doing well and very happy. This was worth all the upheavals it had taken to get her there.
12: Tin Tin and I went hiking in the Rocky Mountain National Forest.
17: Flew to New Mexico to visit Woodstock friends Steve and Sharon.
18: Sharon and I visited Santa Fe, including the Crafts Museum.
31: College friend Steph came to visit from Tulsa; we drove down to Taos by way of the Garden of the Gods.
September
2: Back to Broomfield.
5: Flew to San Francisco and saw many old Bay Area friends, and a few Woodstockers, before going down to San Jose, where I filmed many Sun speakers at the Storage Networking Industry Association’s Software Developer Conference (SNIA SDC).
15: Participated in a fun fundraiser in San Francisco.
17: Flew back to the UK and spent a couple of days with Dad and Ruth.
20: Flew back to Milan. By this time, I had parted ways with TVBLOB, and only had one job to do, to my considerable relief.
We had house guests as soon as I arrived: my Woodstock classmate Sara Ahmed, and long-time family friends Leslie and Nathan. While they were all with us, we visited the beautiful old abbey at Piona, towards the northern end of Lake Como.
28: Enrico and I began to enjoy the advantages of the empty nest. On a sudden invitation, we took off and spent a weekend inVenice:
October
6: Wine-tasting in Valtellina.
19-21: Hosted Web Women Weekend at our home in Lecco.
27: Enrico and I took another day trip on the lake, eating at Beccaccino (justly famous for its fish) in Sorico.
November
3: Enrico and I went to Lugano for eTourCamp, on the way taking the ferry across the lake:
Lake Como, Nov 2007
10: My travel arrangements for India all set, we had our traditional fall dinner party a bit early.
14: Left Milan for Delhi. Arrived the same night, slept in a hotel for a few hours.
15: Took the Shatabdi Express to Dehra Dun and a taxi to Mussoorie. Wandered around the school looking for my kid til I finally met up with her on the ramp. She hugged me tight and whispered: “We’re so weird.”
16: Filmed Ross et al in a Bollywood version of “The Taming of the Shrew” – she played Bianca.
19: Pondered my past as a technical writer and my future as… what?
^ Ross and cat, Mussoorie
28: I turned 45.
Wrote, photographed, and filmed lots more stuff about Woodstock, spent intense times with many old and new friends, all the while working remotely for Sun.
December
14: Ross and I, alongside a school party of 200 kids plus chaperones, went down to Delhi at the start of our winter vacation.
16-18: In Delhi: shopping, eating, running around, seeing friends.
^Â I have not tried dragan (dragon?) fruit yet – never heard of it before. Note the strawberries, cherries, and plums – none of these were available in India a few years ago.
19: We flew to Mumbai, where we spent another intense period shopping for a sari, seeing many old friends (mine), and meeting movie stars. And I bought art:
^ a piece by artist Rashmi Dogra – a tin valise, with a Kathakali dancer’s face – this was my Christmas present for me!
29: Ross flew to Goa, I flew to Delhi.
30: More shopping in Delhi.
31: Arrived in Milan, Enrico picked me up at the airport. After a few hours at home to rest and unpack, we drove up to a place in the mountains where friends were staying, to celebrate New Year’s with them. I made it through dinner, but slept through the traditional midnight feast of lentils – and slept through 25 people partying in the room next door, and fireworks going off in the street outsidehttps://www.beginningwithi.com.
And I think that’s about enough for one year!
The Twitter Diaries: Oct 2007
drinking an evening smoothie while downloading video from Venice. Contemplating what to make for dinner.
2:
sabato 6 ott.: pranzo seguito da degustazione vini valtellinesi, e forse anche il famoso Ciapponi a Morbegno. Who’s in?
I have spent the day editing video and filing old papers. Very tired now.
signing off for the night, while my computer continues to compress a video into Flash: Jeff Jackson in Milan last week, throwing t-shirts
3:
@catepol sono sveglia, piu’ o meno, aspettando il primo caffe’
affatto sorpresa dalla notizia riportata da clarita82. L’ho saputo anni fa da un amico gay italiano.
Raising a Non-Believer: https://www.beginningwithi.com/oped/raisinganonbeliever.html
my first “official” video to be posted for Sun: http://tinyurl.com/26cgm7 – a trailer for more, actually
devo mandare un fax dal mio computer a Milano. Come si potrebbe fare?
having fun blogging about Venice: https://www.beginningwithi.com/italy/travel/0709veneziac.html
4:
Euteliafax non ha funzionato. Qualcuno in prossimita’ di una macchina fax potrebbe aiutare? una pagina da faxare a Milano
Argh! Missed delivery of my new laptop yesterday because our bell isn’t working. What do I do now? Sit at the gate all day?
grazie, Telecom – sono rimasta senza ADSL per ore, e trattata da schifo come sempre. Almeno la linea e’ tornata
new laptop arrived!
now twitting from my new laptop! Windows Vista on a Dell. Yes, I am massively uncool. But it’s so shiny!
@jeffreytaylor on the other hand, they generate a lot of waste – how good are they are recycling those little containers?
@jeffreytaylor – meet us in India?
awesome! MozBackup brought over all my emails and settings from the old laptop to the new one without dropping a single bit
read it and salivate: https://www.beginningwithi.com/food/alpasso.html
@jeffreytaylor – Ross called today proposing Christmas in Goa. Which definitely would NOT suck.
moving computers is a lot of work
con Amazon guadagno $10 (in gift certificate) al trimestre, quando va bene. Con AdSense > $200 al mese. ’nuff said.
5:
gynecologist and bureaucracy – it’s going to be a fun day!
Vista wants me to run an update, but how do I know whether I need the x86 or x64 download? Thought this was supposed to be automatic…
…at least I finally managed to get a fax through to the Indian visa service in Milan, so that should be in the works now.
@pm10 grazie, adesso devo capire come capirlo – un nuovo OS causa sempre confusione…
moving my entire life from one computer to another, I feel like a hermit crab changing its shell
2 hrs of intensive gardening – I think I’ve had my workout for today!
stretching before me: a weekend in which I do not have a child GOING TO SCHOOL ON SATURDAY – how happy this makes me!
6:
awake, awake… getting ready to go for lunch and wine tasting in Valtellina. (hey, I invited you guys!)
so… leave Delhi Dec 16 or so, probably go to Mumbai and Goa, drop Ross in Kolkata Dec 29th, then back to Europe. Who’s in?
oh, and Agra somewhere along the way – Ross hasn’t seen the Taj.
just back from a long day of eating and drinking. Life doesn’t suck!
7:
sul lago di Como il sole deve ancora arrivare : (
even at long distance, Ross still manages to put me through her teenage moments. <sigh>
solidarity with mothers everywhere: http://tinyurl.com/2kfbmr
so tired.But if I go to sleep now, I’ll be awake at 3 am. As usual.
8:
not awake enough to do actual work yet, instead I’ll blog about this weekend’s lunch and wine tasting
now pissed off at Vista – breaks video rendering to ask me to allow start of a program I’ve already used 20 times on this machine!
how do I turn off this stupid Vista “am I allowed to do this?” warning?
@gioxx – thanks, that did it!
9: I think I’ve gotten the very last thing (for now) working on my new laptop. Moving completed!
damn! all set to make chutney, and I don’t have enough sugar
I wish when someone follows me on Twitter they could tell me why. Marketing? Genuinely interested in me? (if so, why?) Feels creepy as is.
well, this guy did: http://philcrissman.com/ – nice of him.
@dottavi t’ho cercato a Sun Tech Days, ma eri sempre nella sala stampa! (Io stavo filmando per Sun.)
quasi piangendo per la frustrazione-Telecom. Qualcuno mi sa’ indicare un ISP che non e’ cosi’ stronzo, incapace, maleducato, stupido…?
NB: sull’ISP sono anche disposta a pagare un servizio davvero business, purche’ ci siano garanzie vere su disponibiilita’ ed assistenza
touching my mouth with unwashed hands after cutting up a very hot pepper – that was fairly stupid…
@alicetwain – <shudder>
frustration makes me tired. @ruperthowe @trine all of those remedies sound good, minus the TV (we have 2 sets, but don’t watch TV as such)
hate websites that force you to add www. – so old-fashioned.
it’s been an irritating day & I’m very premenstrual. Husband is bringing home chocolate – this will probably save his life.
10:
@missbhavens – you’re going on the Daily Show?!? even in the audience I’m SOOOO jealous. But I share his exact birthday & we’re both lefties
Religious Belief vs. Health Care Tolerating the Intolerable in Italy https://www.beginningwithi.com/italy/living/catholicdoctors.html
@estragon – vedi l’ironia della pubblicita’ che hanno sul mio post di adesso (“the Nazareth cross”)
@estragon – quello che vedi dipende da molti fattori. Dice “In Nazareth city of Jesus the world’s largest cross is being built, join us…”
argh. Need a replacement battery charger for my digital camera. Amazon US or UK won’t ship it to Italy. !@#$@!#$@#
qualcuno ha una ricetta buona per la salsa verde? Ho il giardino pieno di prezzemolo
@alicetwain – graz, anche quella sembra interessante, ma ho gia’ fatto salsa verde tradizionale. E’ venuta bene! (anche il chutney di ieri!)
this one made me laugh: http://tinyurl.com/2e8nmc
11:
@scobleizer outside chance I might actually be in the US and be able to come to a PhotoCamp next April. Or you could come to Italy! ; )
qualcuno sarebbe disp. x 1 te/caffe pomeridiana a Milano oggi?
@deirdres piu’ o meno Loreto
@delymyth – dicevo, probabilmente Loreot, dipende se devo passare da TVBLOB
12:
having experience moving between cultures is very useful when joining a new corporation – especially a big one
tickets booked for India!
oh crap. I think I’ve got a flu or something.
@maephis – Almeno i bambini crescono e la smettono. I cani dei vicini che abbaiono tutte le notti sono adulti – non c’e’ speranza!
too brain-dead to do actual work, so obsessively organizing my home office with new Ikea storage goodies
colpo grosso: sono riuscita a rinfilare un mio link su un forum del New York Times: http://tinyurl.com/2fr6vx
13:
it’s a beautiful day, and I have an ugly cold. Bleah.
so much I want and need to get done, but my head hurts and I feel generally awful. Hope this flu passes quickly.
Nabaztag sarebbe un regalo perfetto per la matrigna, ma sembra ancora tr complicato da configurare
14:
Donne! Se avete intenzioni di venire al WWW (19-21 ott), fatemi sapere!
nice to know that Ross, even far away in India living a new life, still values her mother’s, um, wisdom.
15:
advice to young web designers: http://tinyurl.com/yt6zyq
@jeffreytaylor in fact. I need a new iPod and am trying not to think that I could almost save money going to NYC to buy it!
@estragon – compro l’iPod vecchio stile di 160 Gb, che lo spazio serve. Poi ho sentito che l’iphone se lo fai cadere e’ finito… sara’
@estragon c’e’ ne sono due di Chris Anderson, quello di Wired e quello di TED. Quest’ultimo ha fatto la mia stessa scuola in India.
making extremely garlicky puttanesca sauce. The whole house reeks. We won’t be troubled by vampires tonight!
16:
want a global web app to filter out all the crap – everywhere! – I don’t care about, like celebrity gossip and most sports. Britneykiller!
che cacchio ha ‘sto tempo? Non vedo neanche il lago!
cercasi videoblogger munito di videocamera e mic, disponibile a Torino il pomeriggio venerdi’ 26 ottobre. Prestazione retribuita.
@estragon una videoblogger americana che ha bisogno di un cameraman(woman) a Eataly. Quella data perche’ lei ha disposto cosi’
qualcuno ha l’email di Fabrizio Ulisse aka Biccio?
non ho combinato un cazzo tutto il giorno (quasi). Lasciamo perdere.
17:
@mafe facciamo noi l’aperitivo come lo vogliamo noi e ‘ffanculo alla Nokia! (non sono invitata neanch’io)
18:
argh! it’s going to get bloody cold this weekend!
@alicetwain organizziamo un boycott di qualunque negozio mettesse decorazioni natalizie prima del 1 dicembre
19:
went to an interesting exhibit last night in Milan of contemporary Indian art: http://tinyurl.com/yo98jk
now preparing to host a houseful of girl geeks for Web Women Weekend (first in a series?)
@amandalorenzani – You’re planning on putting a tent in my garden? ; )
it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood! finally, after days of horrible haze, we have a clear blue view of Lake Como.
@DElyMyth – first come, first served. And you’ll be #1 or #2 to arrive
new iPod arrived within 24 hours of ordering from Apple store. Damn. Should have got it engraved after all. It’s so pretty! (160 GB!)
@feba – anche a me – vieni la prossima volta! Sara’ un bel gruppo. Vediamo cosa ne viene fuori.
@stevegarfield – in our Slow Food winetasting course, the expert told us that a beer-style cap is actually the best way to preserve wine!
21:
Web Women Weekend Was Wonderful
@mafe hai perso anche un’ottimo pranzo Indiano (dico senza falsa modestia – l’ho fatto io)
we had beautiful (if cold) clear weather for the guests this weekend. Now the last have left and I feel strangely let down.
@delymuth d’accordo con te. Gia’ faccio di tutto per evitare le “notizie” sportive, come anche quelle di “celebrita'” varie
di curry ce n’e’ ancora tanta, anche se l’ho mangiata di nuovo a cena. E vi siete dimenticate i vostri barattoli del mio chutney!
troppo stanca per leggere, ma guardare un film da sola e’ troppo triste
22:
finally, my lake the way it’s supposed to be! Day after day of clear blue gorgeousness
@delymyth io SONO in letargo. Ci vuole un’altro caffe. E un’altro, e un’altro…
frustration makes me tired. And gives me a headache.
I don’t expect to hear from Ross this week – she’s off exploring “real” India (there are many, actually) in Chandigarh. And buying shoes.
so many, many things I could write about. But my hands hurt. Has voice recognition software improved in the last 3-4 years?
23:
It’s one of those beautiful days when I’m going to spend a lot of time staring out the window
ripensando la cena di stasera – mi ci vorebbero 2.5 ore solo per arrivare!
listening to Jethro Tull
24:
I finally sprayed the roses for fungus yesterday. So of course today it’s raining.
exercising my brain on marketing material for technology way beyond my current experience
@pandemia potrei sembrare altrettanto cattiva, ma il pensar male mi sembra essere lo sport nazionale…
Oh My Zod. http://www.curriculumtshirt.com/EN/index.asp (hat tip to Nicole http://tinyurl.com/yptfx3
@nicolamattina – questo l’ho gia’ sentito. Fara’ parte del inno nazionale?
@delymyth gli spieghi che finira’ subito in blacklist e non potra’ piu’ fare mailing di nessun tipo. E’ successo a noi per 1 sbaglio banale
@alicetwain argh. devo boicottare i supermarket? Meno male che vado in india e perdo le feste comandate. Non ne posso piu’. peggio negli usa
finished editing another Sun video
@igorminar only for Sun people, apparently – that wiki appears to be accessible only if you’re logged in
greatest TV line of the week/month/year: “We’re gay Mormons.”
25:
watching the clouds drift down from the north of the lake. A bright yellow tree livens the overwhelming gray
@ruperthowe re. the T-shirts, I guess it shows a kind of creative desperate. Esp since Italians don’t wear t-shirts with writing on usually
had a nice lunch today with my now-ex colleagues. Good people. I miss them.
first video for Sun FINALLY published: http://tinyurl.com/ytrxc4
three weeks from now I’ll be home in Mussoorie, with my daughter at my beloved school.
@catepol – istruirli su come e quando si usa – la terza media non e’ troppo presto
spent 7 hours today getting to Milan for lunch and coming back. Thank you, Trenitalia! !@#$@#$# Now have work to do and too tired to do it
26:
Why are people who dial wrong numbers always so sure they know who has answered? “Pronto, Marta!” I’m not Marta. “I got the number wrong?”
finished a piece of work, time to make samosas and masala chai for Woodstock guests arriving soon
since I’m no longer commuting to Milan 2 hrs each way, I suddenly have a lot more time on my hands!
drank white wine at lunch, had a vicious headache the rest of the day. Same thing happened last weekend. Red wine only from now on.
28:
@basykes who was so insane as to breed a chihuahua and a pit bull?!?
hate when I have new articles all ready to go and can’t publish them due to Dreamhost problems
The Economist: “Americans poised to lay out a record $5 billion this year”… on Halloween. What ever happened to homemade costumes?
report on Web Women Weekend: https://www.beginningwithi.com/tech/071019www.html
whoa
29:
hmm. vedo la solita netta mancanza di donne: http://tinyurl.com/ywpply
as a blogger,it’s interesting working for a CEO who really gets blogging: http://tinyurl.com/2e6s2l
@maephis hai tutte le mie simpatie. Purtroppo, la scuola qui (e altrove) puo’ avere quest’effetto. E’ un enorme spreco di cervelli giovani
anybody know anything about a file size limit on FTP transfers? (very slowly) trying to upload a 9GB file, it refuses to go further than 3GB
Ross’ 1st qtr report card contains amazing comments from the teachers. I could weep for joy to see her in a place where teachers get her!
@jefferytaylor – why not suggest that to Chris Anderson, the curator? I think he’d like the idea of having extra money to give to charity.
@jeffreytaylor I’m holding out for a speaker invite. ; )
@alicetwain vado a farmi la tisana anti-mal-di-gola al limone, miele, e aglio. No, non e’ schifoso quanto sembra, e funziona!
not even 5 pm and it’s so dark. I hate winter.
30:
@mafe avrei preferito che tenessero la LORO vita privata separata dalla MIA salute e i MIEI diritti (e il loro decalogo professionale)
OMZ! Jonathan Schwartz and Joss Whedon were in the same class at Wesleyan! http://www.wesleyan.edu/admission/facts/alumni.html
c’e’ qualcuno tra i miei ascoltatori che conosce/usa Solaris?
@androm sto valutando la possibilita’ di creare un user group a Milano/dintorni
@4Everyoung concordo con te, e ne avevo gia’ parlato poco fa: https://www.beginningwithi.com/italy/living/catholicdoctors.html
a great, a Catholic pyramid scheme is advertising on my site
now here’s a really good use of social networking: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/30/technology/30poor.html
@palmasco spiegagli che non e’ affatto adatto a quest’utilizzo e consigliali astroglide o qualcosa di simile.
@jeffreytaylor – thanks for that. Nirodh used to be the only condom brand in India; I because it’s become a generic term!
@palmasco adesso cantiamo tutti in coro: “Ev’ry sperm is sacred…”
I’ll probably like this movie: http://www.whatwouldnphdo.com/
giunge richiesta di “an Italian Christmas song that I could teach to second graders? Possibly about La Befana?” – aiuto!
my head hurts so badly. I wish someone would give me drugs. Or just whack me with a crowbar or something
video day for me, too – time to start cranking out some more for Sun.
mio primo post in italiano (spero non troppo anglicizzato): https://www.beginningwithi.com/italy/living/3rdworldpoit.html
Ross is back! (on fotolog, that is) https://www.beginningwithi.com/Woodstock/rd071031.html
“Gli immigrati pagano 2 miliardi di tasse” – e gli italiani? <wry smile>
migraine never really went away, now getting worse. Can I just crawl into a corner and whimper?
triple whammy of coffee, brownies, and ibuprofen has cured headache, maybe.
ma come si fa a trovare un HD case esterno multiplo? trovo solo singoli
just renewed my subscription to the Economist for another 3 years. Lost count of how long I’ve been reading it.
@blusfumato – non esco neanche per sogno, dopo 2 giorni di emicrania.
Raising a Non-Believer
A reader has just written to me:
“One was on an essay about Religion as a Cause of Strife in the World – you can bet she went to town on that!”
this is a comment you wrote on Ross’ India Diary and i have always wanted to ask you why you believe that Ross has arrived at an independent opinion/thought/decision regarding religion when it is the exact same opinion/insight you and your husband have. maybe mistakenly, but i’ve gotten this impression that you are very prideful that her belief is identical to yours and see it as a sign of her independent, intelligent thought. how much of a stretch is that really? how different is that to the child who grows up with the gospel every week at church and every day at home? how “independent” can that child’s outlook ever be due to that home conditioning?
It’s very true and completely unsurprising that Rossella, like most kids, shares her parents’ beliefs (or lack of). The more interesting question is: did how she arrive at those beliefs?
One of Richard Dawkins’ most provocative theses is that schools and even parents should not be allowed to proselytize children into religion at young ages. He points to lifelong traumas (both physical and mental) inflicted upon people (and cultures) from infancy, in the name of religion.
One might reasonably ask (many have) how Dawkins’ desire to promote atheism is any different from a religious person’s desire to promote religion. The logic here seems to be: “Atheism is just another belief. Why is it okay for you to preach what you believe, but not for religious people to do so?”
Here’s the “fundamental” difference: most religions teach their adherents – and particularly children – to accept certain strictures, norms, behaviors, etc. because someone in “authority” said so. Believers may be allowed to question up to a point, but sooner or later every religion comes down to “faith” – a necessarily blind (because unprovable) belief that there is some “higher power” out there which has an opinion about how you should think and act.
This is emphatically NOT how we raised our daughter.
My husband is a professional mathematician. This means that he thinks long and hard to come up with new hypotheses about how things behave in his particular realm of mathematics. When he can support his ideas with mathematical proofs, and those ideas are new, and important enough to be brought to the attention of his colleagues, he submits them (in the form of articles) to professional mathematical journals. There his ideas are judged by his peers for their truth and interestingness and worthiness of publication. If he gets something wrong, either he or one of his colleagues will figure that out. He thanks the people who point out his errors, and goes back to the drawing board.
The same thing happens in every scientific field. Ideas are developed, tested, and submitted to a jury of one’s peers. Sometimes an idea is proven wrong immediately, sometimes later, as more research is carried out. A few hypotheses survive the judgement of the scientific community and the test of time to become theories: which is to say, scientifically-proven facts.
All of this is done in a spirit of cooperative enquiry and (more or less) humility. No one can claim to know more than anyone else on the basis of some externally-granted “authority” – a scientist must be able to back his or her hypotheses with solid, provable facts.
I’m not a scientist, but I use the classic scientific method in my job every day: Does this work? If not, why not? What went wrong? Test one variable at a time til you find out where the problem is, then fix it. It’s a simple logic which can be usefully applied in many areas of life.
Given our professional and personal biases (and our penchant for arguing about EVERYTHING), Enrico and I have raised our daughter to prize inquiry, and not to grant authority blindly. We would be hypocrites if we had not encouraged Ross to think for herself and ask questions – to which we always gave grown-up answers.
This isn’t a totally easy way to raise a teenager: “Why do I have to be home at midnight?” In a family like ours, “Because I’m the mom and I said so!” doesn’t cut it. In Ross’ most exhausting, argumentative moments, I have gritted my teeth and consoled myself that: “At least I know she’s not going to do something stupid just because her friends are doing it.”
And, mostly, she hasn’t. We raised her to think for herself, and she does think – and, most of the time, she comes to very sensible conclusions.
If Ross called herself an atheist simply in imitation of me and her father, I’d have no reason to boast of her independence of mind. Perhaps at 18 she hasn’t put as much thought into her beliefs as we have, but I don’t think she’s merely parroting us. She knows that she is welcome – encouraged! – to explore what others believe (Woodstock is an excellent venue for that), and decide for herself what she thinks of it all. Her father and I remain open to discussion. Ross is no fool, and very likely someday she’ll persuade me to something I hadn’t previously agreed with. It wouldn’t be the first time.
